For The Twins

I drag myself away from the arduous task of overeating fish tacos, paying dearly to receive small doses of lethal diseases, and marveling at the poise possessed by fake Romanian Royalty, to bring you the first in my new series of Lists.

French Tickler
Lumberjack Breakfast
Florence or Flo?
Scotchguard
Thimbles
Sour Patch Kids
Unskinny Bop
Soul Patch
Ham Sandwich

18 Responses to “For The Twins”

  1. Magdalena says:

    But what does it all MEAN? We, the people, need closure.

  2. My Twin says:

    EQ, it is for you to figure out what it means!! Think of your acting craft… it’s for the audience, no? What do they take away from it? It’s not about sex; or is it? Please, you should know all this already.

    In other news, Month, I love you. Also, last night I had a dream that Pink and I were lesbian lovers. It is what it is.

  3. Magdalena says:

    My Twin thinks she should call you “Month” because your initials, un-abbreviated by a Blackberry, transpose themselves into “Month”. She finds this more amusing than I do.

  4. My Twin says:

    I find it very amusing. I suspect it will last about as long as LaMongo. Approximately 1.5 weeks. My blackberry will never tire of it though. It insists that you are Month.

  5. My Twin says:

    A fine dining experience that was, wouldn’t you say?

  6. Magdalena says:

    So, this is as good a forum as any to ask. My Twin, what are you doing tonight? I think I’m just going to do some laundry and maybe watch a documentary about Cirque du Soleil. You’re welcome to come over, if you want.

  7. My Twin says:

    That sounds like fun. We could do our synchronized swimming routine whilst watching. I’ve got laundry too though. Your machine require quarters? Fuck quarters.

    This might be my new blog.

  8. Magdalena says:

    Nope, no quarters. Bring it on. Free laundry for all. Hey, do you think a wine stain needs a pre-treatment?

  9. my twin says:

    Definitely needs pretreatment. I’ve got a shout stain stick type product. I’ll bring it over. How many machines are there?

  10. Magdalena says:

    Sadly, there’s only one. Hey, what do you expect from free laundry? But we will monopolize that machine all night long, like we’re Lionel fucking Richie.

    Speaking of, that Nicole looks much better now a days, don’t you think?

  11. My Twin says:

    Haven’t seen her lately, but I appreciated her anorexic look very much. If she’s still sporting that, and if by looking better you mean better than when she looked like a fat little pig, then yes. Remember back in the day when we discussed “in” diseases? Good times.

  12. Magdalena says:

    Ah, yes. The tragically hip diseases. HIV/AIDS: so out. Most of the cancers: out. Autism: totally played out. Muteness: a crock. Tuberculosis: having a resurgence, as are birth defects because of our barren, selfish wombs. Totally in: chronic fatigue syndrome, restless leg syndrome and social anxiety disorder.

  13. My Twin says:

    Damn, you are so on it!

    If anyone has any questions (please, no comments) regarding in-ness, pop culture and the like, please submit your inquiries, in writing to EQM, Comments Section, http://www.badlovesongs.com

  14. Magdalena says:

    I have a question: why don’t I just take over this blog? Why don’t you and I take over this blog, actually?

    1, 2, 3: BLOGJACK.

  15. My Twin says:

    Right on Magda! Right on.

    And in the spirit of the blogjack…
    Here is the second in OUR new series of lists:

    Attractive, really attractive.
    See above.
    Highly amusing.
    Twins who don’t look alike.
    Not inclined to do office work.
    Hate Bossman.
    Hate MULTIPLE other things.
    Laugh at inappropriate times.
    Enjoy inactivity.

  16. Magdalena says:

    List No. 2 in the series “Reasons Why The Twins Can Do This Better than Month”:

    Not only attractive, STUNNING;
    Can post dozens of comments on the same post;
    Clearly do not have a problem with rambling in a highly amusing way on the internet;
    Can thus post more frequently than twice in one year;
    Have no need for the approval of others;
    We sing love songs badly;
    AND
    We touch each other inappropriately when under the influence of alcohol.

  17. My Twin says:

    I have to go now. Why? Because fucking Bossman is making me sit in on a fake client meeting with him. Some dying person. Whatever.

  18. Magdalena says:

    Maybe you should blog some more, so My Twin and I have somewhere to have conversations.